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  • I once got my hand smashed in a......

  • I once yelled at a pony......

  • I only did a 4 year contract in the military working with artillery....

  • I over heard this while walking down the......

  • I paid a man a huge sum of money to make a statue of me....

  • I pushed an Asian guy down the stairs......

  • I ran fast and stole a base during......

  • I ran into my former boss the other day....

  • I ran over a fat guy with my car once....

  • I ran over my neighbors foot with a......

  • I read an excellent book called "Round...

  • I robbed a library in Romania yesterday......

  • I said bite me to a vampire......

  • I saw a burglar kicking in his own door....

  • I saw a burglar kicking its own door......

  • I saw a crime at an Apple Store......

  • I saw a crime in an Apple Store this afternoon....

  • I saw a guy get hit by a......

  • I saw a man getting beat up by......

  • I saw a man jump down the roof......

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