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  • I know it's a long shot....

  • I know this dude and we're really close, but sometimes I can't deal with all the crap he puts out....

  • I like to listen to really dark...

  • I live in such a sketchy neighborhood that we don't let our kids out the house after 7 p....

  • I lost control of my car and crashed......

  • I lost my job at the bank today....

  • I lost my job in a packaging factory, after I asked my foreman where to put the huge roll of bubblewrap I was carrying....

  • I lost my watch at a party once....

  • I made a huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight....

  • I may be old, but I feel like I'm going through my teenage years all over again....

  • I may have miss gendered someone....

  • I met a Criminal who is a Halfling......

  • I met a racist pirate......

  • I missed the start of the Tom Swifties....

  • I mixed up the words Jakuzzi and Yakuza......

  • I never knew my daughter had pipes until......

  • I never knew the true meaning of Boxing Day until I told my wife "happy Boxing Day" at 5 AM this morning....

  • I once asked this sea monster why it had eaten an oil tanker....

  • I once bought a hook from a pirate....

  • I once got in a fight with a......

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