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  • I was having a problem with drunks walking around my neighborhood causing trouble....

  • I was in a fight with a Lego man the other day....

  • I was jumped in the alley by a gang of 25 cent pieces....

  • I was kidnapped by a cheapskate....

  • I was kidnapped by a group of mimes......

  • I was kidnapped by mimes once......

  • I was minding my own business in the library when I was attacked....

  • I was mugged by a guy wearing sunglasses and a pink rabbit suit who hit me with his drumsticks....

  • I was on the radio once....

  • I was once kidnapped by mimes....

  • I was riding a donkey across the desert when some bandits jumped me and left me walking penniless and barefoot to town....

  • I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep....

  • I was robbed by two huge Swedes......

  • I was shot and wounded by a Priest the other day....

  • I was so angry about my computer that I ripped out its GPU and smashed it....

  • I was so close to winning an argument with my wife....

  • I was speeding down the highway on my motorcycle with my girl Ruth on the seat behind me....

  • I was told by a terrorist that no one is allowed to keep count of anything anymore ....

  • I was told someone was executed in my......

  • I was Trained in the Martial Arts...

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