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  • I saw a termite in the crawl space under my home....

  • I saw an umpire get hit in...

  • I saw Daniel Craig, Marilyn Monroe, Chris Hemsworth, Leonardo DiCaprio and Paris Hilton kicking the shit out of each other on the street outside a bar....

  • I saw lightning just strike the house across......

  • I saw the neighbor kid dressed up as a Japanese assassin doing moves in the yard....

  • I saw this lame movie about a guy......

  • I see my wife when I lie dreaming......

  • I seem to be negative about giving blood......

  • I smashed my son's computer to pieces with a hammer while he watched....

  • I stabbed multiple Kellogg's box......

  • I stole my brother's motorbike's front wheel....

  • I think I need to invest in a thinner watch strap....

  • I think my wife has been putting glue all over my firearms....

  • I think that the Z fighters would have been much better without Krillin, Yamcha, Tien and Piccolo....

  • I thought opening a door for a lady......

  • i threw a rock at a gay person......

  • I threw an Asian down the stairs...

  • I threw an Asian down the stairs......

  • I told my wife I love her endlessly....

  • I told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf....

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