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  • I was lost in the wilderness....

  • I was made to walk the plank as a child....

  • I was mugged by a guy wearing sunglasses and a pink rabbit suit who hit me with his drumsticks....

  • I was named after my grandfather......

  • I was once attempted a cross-country marathon in......

  • I was once kidnapped by mimes....

  • I was once very popular on a social media website for concrete workers....

  • i was sentenced to prison......

  • I was so happy to shake the hand of the ancient Greek goddess of the harvest....

  • I was so ugly......

  • I was speeding down the highway on my motorcycle with my girl Ruth on the seat behind me....

  • I was told my voice was hoarse......

  • I was trying to avoid contention when delivering......

  • I was up all night trying to figure out where the sun had gone....

  • I was up all night wondering what happened......

  • I was up playing Pokemon all night....

  • I was visited by a ghost from India....

  • I was walking barefoot on the beach and stepped on a rusty piece from an old video game....

  • I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant....

  • I watched a documentary last night about how......

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