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I owe a lot to the sidewalks....
I partook in a revolutionary surgery wherein tiny pieces of Frito Lay were placed in my brain....
I passed the bar....
I pay my rent, food and other expenses......
I pushed an Asian guy down the stairs......
I quit my job as an underwater diver....
I quit my job at a bakery on the 91st floor of a skyscraper....
I quit my job at the bank today....
I quit my job at the erectile dysfunction......
I raised my son until he finished school and then I stopped....
I ran into my former boss the other day....
I ran over a fat guy with my car once....
I read a book about an immortal protagonist....
I read a story about a farmer....
I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden....
I really hate funerals....
I recently learned that humans farts have sounded the same since ancient Egypt....
I recently quit my job at the helium factor....
I recently visited a haunted castle where a ghostly voice followed me around shouting tit wank....
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn't pay my electricity bill....
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