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  • I bought an apartment building in heaven....

  • I bought an inflatable house but it got a hole in it....

  • I bought some evaporated milk for cooking....

  • I broke my glasses when I was visiting an island chain in Southwest Alaska....

  • I broke up with my girlfriend because she......

  • I broke up with my ham radio operator......

  • I broke up with my short girlfriend......

  • I broke up with this girl named Ruth......

  • I brought a fat man to japan......

  • I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it....

  • I can do any home improvement projects, except for installing tile flooring, because I always end up in urgent care with severe pain....

  • I can only ever remember 25 letters of......

  • I can show you how often I've been to Chernobyl using only one hand....

  • I can tell you with 100% certintanty that my phone is not a car....

  • I can't read the original manuscripts of the......

  • I can't stand being in a clown locker room....

  • I can't stand watching any TV show......

  • I can't stop reading about Medieval Spain......

  • I can't stop saying ''years''......

  • I changed my name to Richard....

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