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  • I remember the exact moment I learned to do comedy impressions....

  • I remember the time when I was reminiscing my love life while cutting up an onion....

  • I rescued a cow from a slaughterhouse....

  • I saw a burglar kicking in his own door....

  • I saw a burglar kicking its own door......

  • I saw a crime at an Apple Store......

  • I saw a crime in an Apple Store this afternoon....

  • I saw a fortune teller laughing so I punched her in the face....

  • I saw a hipster walking down the...

  • I saw a magic tractor......

  • I saw a man getting beat up by......

  • I saw an umpire get hit in...

  • I saw Daniel Craig, Marilyn Monroe, Chris Hemsworth, Leonardo DiCaprio and Paris Hilton kicking the shit out of each other on the street outside a bar....

  • I see the football draws are out- Ethiopia got Hungary away....

  • I sent a package of food to my former wife....

  • I sent my hearing aid in for repair a month ago....

  • I sent my hearing aids away to be......

  • I shattered my coffee cup this morning......

  • I showed my son a photo of me and said, "This was taken seven years ago....

  • I showed up late to the Oppenheimer cinema screening....

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