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  • I recently read that in 20 years, water will be so scarce that companies will be using it as a basis for compensation....

  • I removed the space bar from my keyboard......

  • I saw a three-horned dinosaur cop....

  • I saw some red-breasted birds sitting in the sunshine selling ice cream....

  • I saw someone doing a crossword puzzle....

  • I shattered my coffee cup this morning......

  • I spent 5 hours in the ER after......

  • I spent all this money on a toaster......

  • I spilled tea on my MacBook......

  • I started a coffee company last month......

  • I texted my friend I had to go blow bubbles into a glass of milk but that I would shortly return....

  • I told a guy he looked like a jug of beer....

  • I told my daughter that I shouldn't start......

  • I told my doctor, every time I drink coffee, my left eye hurts....

  • I told my mate to go get us......

  • I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine:...

  • I told the waiter there's a fly...

  • I took a woman out to dinner and a movie....

  • I took my Asian husband to the restaurant today....

  • I took some ayahuasca at Jiffy Lube...

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