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  • I mixed up the words Jakuzzi and Yakuza......

  • I must have dreamt I was a muffler last night ....

  • I nearly choked while eating a giant chocolate......

  • I never understood Antifa....

  • I once clogged the soda machine's ice dispenser....

  • I once got my hand smashed in a......

  • I once had a dream I was floating......

  • I once owned a calzone business....

  • I only have Juan joke about Spanish......

  • I own my own jet....

  • I passed the bar....

  • I paused my film to make a cup of tea and go to the toilet....

  • I played our wedding video backward yesterday....

  • I put laxatives in my dishwasher last night....

  • I quit drinking a few days ago......

  • I quit drinking for good....

  • I rarely find cocaine jokes funny....

  • I really don't have a problem with drinking......

  • I received subpar alcohol at a Japanese restaurant;...

  • I recently got in trouble for bartering alcoholic beverages to quaint hotels....

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