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  • I took some pesto bismol at the casino......

  • I tried Gary Barlow's new wine range last night and got really drunk....

  • I tried snorting Coke......

  • I tried to get my buddy a pazone......

  • I tried to order a large Diet Coke when I was traveling through Minnesota....

  • I tried to remember what they call a coffee with ice cream in it....

  • I tried to tell people a beer joke....

  • I try to keep up to date on......

  • I used to be a regular user of......

  • I used to be addicted to hokey pokey....

  • I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey....

  • I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey....

  • I used to go fishing with Skrillex......

  • I used to observe my old college roommate drink himself to sleep every night....

  • I used to tell the truth all the time and now I just "spill the T"....

  • I used to think drinking was bad for......

  • I used to work in an orange juice......

  • I walked home and saw a fudge Sundae, a carrot cake, and an apple pie in the road....

  • I walked into a fast food restaurant, placed my order, and noticed a republican drinking a cocacola and a democrat drinking a pepsi, enjoying a conversation together....

  • I want abs....

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