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  • I Went to a Restaurant Today And Ordered Lox....

  • I won 1 million dollars and donated a quarter of it to charity....

  • I wrapped a present and my wife told me I did an exceptional job....

  • I'd give my right arm......

  • I'd like to thank my father for doing such a great job raising us as a single-parent while working evenings as a magician....

  • I'm addicted to Thanksgiving meals, but my oven......

  • I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my own food....

  • I'm glad Morgan Freeman's humbled himself in recent years....

  • I'm glad my friend Elsa didn't change much when she became strictly vegetarian....

  • I'm going to tell a Bryan Adams joke....

  • I'm just glad the asteroid Psyche is between......

  • I'm not Death:...

  • I'm not one to brag but....

  • I'm not rich, but yesterday I donate my phone, wallet and watch to a poor guy, You can't imagine the happiness that i felt....

  • I'm reading a book on helium....

  • I'm really getting into the Thanksgiving spirit....

  • I'm so glad I managed to sort my shit out....

  • I'm so good at paying my dues......

  • I'm so tired, I was up at 1:...

  • I've always hoped that my corrupted country will......

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