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  • To whoever wins the hot dog contest today....

  • Today i returned my wife's new glasses....

  • Today i returned my wooden whistle....

  • Today is National Bread Day!...

  • Today is the best day ever....

  • Tonight I'm gonna pleasure my wife by writing my autograph across her chest....

  • Unbeknown to most of the congregation, the new minister enjoyed an occasional bottle of wine....

  • Walked to work in record time this morning....

  • We were driving on the road, and my wife said, "Hey, you missed a right!...

  • What are 5 things that are good to keep in hand?...

  • What are the 2 most frequently used letters?...

  • What did Buddha say to his friends when they wanted to leave the club?...

  • What did Elvis say after finishing a show in the Netherlands?...

  • What did Frankenstein bring to Thanksgiving Dinner?...

  • What did one dried grape say to the other dried grape to express their love?...

  • What did the accountant say when his friend asked if he wanted to borrow his car?...

  • What did the atheist tell people as he was knocking on people's doors?...

  • What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for a present?...

  • What did the cheese say after it was shredded?...

  • What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?...

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