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  • I've just celebrated my thirty second birthday!...

  • If a mathematician says you fulfill him....

  • If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner, don't lose your head....

  • If you ever see one of those fish that dies after breeding, feel lucky....

  • If you give someone a late present....

  • If you spell the word drawer backwards....

  • If you're having a bad day, try thinking about the absolute value....

  • In a fictional lego universe set in Anglo-Saxon England, a king gave his pet parrot a large plot of land....

  • In Hawaii, it's rude to laugh out loud......

  • In Spanish, "Gracias" means "thank you"....

  • Interviewer: Would you mind explaining this 4-year...

  • It seems I have spent a lifetime of mechanically mouthing things like, "Say thank you....

  • It was my sons fourth birthday today but I didn't recognise him....

  • Just give it a rest......

  • King left hand felt he could not trust the other hand anymore....

  • Knock knock....

  • Last night I dreamt that I was a mouse, and had been caught by a hawk....

  • Like a good neighbor......

  • Lots of vampires in Europe, but none in......

  • Man, I wish I got paid to sleep....

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