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  • I have rather severe tinitus......

  • I have two sandwiches....

  • I just ate 288 sunflower seeds....

  • I just ate a frozen apple....

  • I just bought some invisibility cream....

  • I just finished reading a book on antigravity....

  • I just got some oranges from Mexico, apparently they're high in one specific nutrient....

  • I just lost my favourite Harry Potter wand......

  • I just realized that most of Spanish are......

  • I just saw Deja Vu with Denzel Washington......

  • I just told my wife we are like peanut butter and honey....

  • I just visited a mexican food festival in bombay....

  • I just was gifted the worst thesaurus I've ever seen....

  • I just won a lifetime supply of ground......

  • I just won the award for the nicest oyster opener!...

  • I knew a guy that would eat every part of a gingerbread man except the shoes....

  • I knew a guy who was very tender hearted....

  • I knew there would be consequences for stealing a bottle of tea from the gas station if I got caught....

  • I know this joke about yeast infection and......

  • I left my homemade bread in the oven......

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