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  • I call my wife "Snickers"......

  • I can eat a piece of string cheese and tie a half hitch in my stomach!...

  • I can finally enjoy Italian food after getting food poisoning at a restaurant....

  • I can't believe that there's people out there who don't like pickles....

  • I caught one of my art students eating all the red clay....

  • I chased a man through an apartment block today....

  • I could tell a joke about pizza......

  • I devoured an entire wheel of Swiss cheese today....

  • I did an experiment....

  • I didn't like working at the steel plant....

  • I didn't think tequila could help my problems....

  • I don't always count the number of pasta I eat....

  • I don't always enjoy everything I do in my workshop....

  • I don't do cocaine....

  • I don't have a superiority complex......

  • I don't know why my wife didn't appreciate the chocolate and flower I got as an apology....

  • I don't like coffee mugs....

  • I don't like coffee....

  • I don't like dad jokes......

  • I don't like German cuisine....

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