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I spent all my life savings on pasta....
I spent my life savings on pasta....
I squirted ketchup in my eyes the other day....
I started a lending company that uses food as collateral....
I started my diet by removing all the fattening food from the house....
I tell everyone that the food at the......
I think I'm allergic to certain types of nuts they make me sneeze....
I thought about becoming vegetarian....
I thought about going on an all-almond diet....
I thought about quitting my job to start......
I thought that mustard might stain my shirt....
I thought this was funny, my partner did......
i threw a rock at a gay person......
I told my doctor, every time I drink coffee, my left eye hurts....
I told my son the other day that he smelled like green onion while sitting in his room listening to hip hop....
I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce....
I took a stuffed dog to the Antiques Roadshow and was told, "This is extremely rare....
I took a tour of a defunct candy factory, but it smelled more like chocolate....
I took a woman out to dinner and a movie....
I took some ayahuasca at Jiffy Lube...
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