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  • I totally nailed this one today......

  • I treasure my fingers....

  • I tried a new web browser today......

  • I tried Gary Barlow's new wine range last night and got really drunk....

  • I tried lending my dyslexic friend a hand, but he asked me to leave him alone....

  • I tried marrying fruit....

  • I tried reading 'The Iliad' and 'The Odyssey'....

  • I tried snorting Coke......

  • I tried to remember what I always order for dessert at the Italian restaurant....

  • I tried to return some chicken wire to the store....

  • I tried to stop using idioms lately....

  • I used to be a hopeless deli meat addict....

  • I used to be addicted to soap...

  • I used to be obsessed with The Rolling......

  • I used to hate facial hair......

  • I used to hate having a small nose....

  • I used to have German christmas bread......

  • I walked up to the miserable old woman that lives at the end of my street....

  • I wanted to splurge on a bottle of scotch for my aficionado father in law to garner favor....

  • I was a real ladies' man in my......

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