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  • I once knew a raunchy ballerina from Krakow......

  • I once wrote and directed a theatrical performance on puns....

  • I ordered a book on puns....

  • I ran out of toilet papers, so have......

  • I spent most of my holiday on the......

  • I thought people were finding my jokes funny......

  • I took a dump at the airport......

  • I took a piss in the playing area of some child....

  • I tried to keep it a secret when......

  • I used to tell the truth all the time and now I just "spill the T"....

  • I want to tell a bike joke joke......

  • I wanted to start a professional hide-and-seek league ....

  • I was bored......

  • I was buying an apartment from a couple that took up an entire floor....

  • I was sick and someone told me to get well soon....

  • I was sweating when my lifelong friend approached me and I forgot his name....

  • I went to a zoo yesterday, but there weren't any animals, just a dog....

  • I'd never sign up to a human-cloning program....

  • I'm making a movie about dropping the F-bomb....

  • I'm not going to get back up on......

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