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  • Why was the plant embarrassed?...

  • Wife came into the room and said "It smells extremely farty in here!...

  • Wifey send me to get her some shampoo......

  • Wifey send me too get her some shampoo......

  • Worst gig I ever played was a private party in this guys's backyard, and his septic tank started overflowing....

  • Yesterday I bought a world map, then gave my wife a dart and said, "throw this, and wherever it lands, I'll take you on a three-week vacation for your birthday"....

  • Yesterday my spouse and I farted together......

  • You can't be perfect at everything....

  • You do get that college is lying to you right?...

  • You know what a fart is?...

  • You know what is scary and looks like a sheet?...

  • You know what's really shitty?...

  • You know why farts stink?...

  • Your nose is full of boogers....

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