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  • I hired a kid to paint my porch....

  • I introduced my daughter to the best of......

  • I just bought my 1 year old a......

  • I just flunked out of barber school......

  • I just found out my son was adopted and it's been really tough....

  • I just got a new chocolate lab, we......

  • I just had my 32nd birthday....

  • i just remembered a joke my sister made......

  • I knew a girl who wore pants so......

  • I know a scary joke about maths......

  • I learned to be accepting of midgets' moral lapses....

  • I left my kid alone at that Indian classical music concert....

  • I let my 6 month old strum my......

  • I like dad jokes about eyes......

  • I like Kinder Surprise very much......

  • I like to tell dad jokes......

  • I live in such a sketchy neighborhood that we don't let our kids out the house after 7 p....

  • I love making memories with my son....

  • I love telling jokes about orphans....

  • I lowered my sons crib today....

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