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  • I had the craziest dream last night....

  • I hate German sausages......

  • I have fond memories of the vineyard I once worked at turning grapes in to wine....

  • I just completed a study on the effects of walking after consuming too much alcohol....

  • I just got back from Dubai where I......

  • I just met someone who specializes is...

  • I just picked up my lunch from China King and the whole kitchen staff was passing around a joint....

  • I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40....

  • I just won the award for the nicest oyster opener!...

  • I knew a heavy a drinker who lost a lot of weight ....

  • I know that alcohol won't cure my depression......

  • I left my car at the pub and took the bus home....

  • I like my coffee like my women......

  • I like pintos a lot....

  • I like playing with tapioca balls......

  • I made a pizza the other night......

  • I made Thanksgiving puns all night and was on a roll....

  • I make great chai...

  • I marched into the latest meeting of the 007 fan club and I told them the harsh truth that none of them wanted to hear....

  • I mistakenly drank a potion that made me invisible....

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