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  • I almost drowned in my muesli this morning......

  • I almost drowned this morning in my muesli....

  • I always dreamed of becoming a baker....

  • I always thought Mirabel from encanto drank estrelladam......

  • I am addicted to drinking brake-fluid......

  • I am currently writing a book about drinking beer....

  • I am on a timed deadline to...

  • I am relatively poor....

  • I asked my wife what happens when a Stoner gets paid on Fridays?...

  • I awoke from a dream where I got hit in the head with a wine bottle....

  • I believe you miss 100% of the shots......

  • I bought a 12 year old Whisky......

  • I bought a bad sausage from a street......

  • I bought a twelve year old whiskey......

  • I bought this jug whilst on holiday in Barbados....

  • I can't stop drinking cat urine....

  • I decided I'm going to dress up as a hotdog with a beer mug for Halloween this year....

  • I didn't think tequila could help my problems....

  • I don't like coffee....

  • I don't like to drink Monsters......

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