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  • My uncle's pet donkey sat on him while......

  • My wife did all the chores today and even made the bed....

  • My wife got sick and was coughing all night, keeping us both awake....

  • My wife had a headache so she asked me to get her 2 aleve....

  • My wife is always saying that I talk in my sleep....

  • My wife is on bedrest for the next nine months....

  • My wife is sleeping in the spare bedroom because she said she has had enough of my night time Elvis impersonations....

  • My wife said she wishes I performed better in bed....

  • My wife sleeps naked because our room is too hot....

  • My wife wasn't happy with me falling asleep......

  • My wife woke up the other day with a puzzled look on her face....

  • Naptime......

  • Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and savior?...

  • Okay I'll admit I might be addicted to......

  • Other people sleeping be like "Zzzzzzzzzzzz"....

  • Papa, papa, what are you watching?...

  • Q....

  • Sine my daughter has been going to school, all we have to say are the words "go take a nap" and she'll go lay down....

  • So I slept with my best friend's wife the other night and now I feel terrible....

  • So last night i dreamt that i'd actually written The Lord of the Rings....

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