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  • I finally got my paintball license this morning......

  • I finished my month-long training at the Acme sponge factory....

  • I fired my Italian shrink....

  • I forgot to wash my bedspread with the rest of the laundry....

  • I found a debit card with the eifel tower on it....

  • I found a police officer on my bed....

  • I found out my wife has been cleaning our bank notes in the washing machine....

  • I found work installing the hour hand on a clock assembly line....

  • I gave away all my dead batteries today......

  • I gave fly fishing a shot once....

  • I gave up my job as putting suitcases in planes when I learnt that some suitcases can feel sad....

  • I got a belt made of watches......

  • I got a comedy gig at a crowd......

  • I got a comedy gig at an open source convention....

  • I got a dart board installed on my ceiling....

  • I got a job as a church comedian......

  • I got a job at a bakery...

  • I got a job at a vegetable...

  • I got a job at a waxing salon recently....

  • I got a job building incomplete clocks......

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