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  • I do the same crap everyday......

  • I don't capture knights when I play chess....

  • I don't charge much for the photos I take, although if one wants to change poses frequently then I might charge 120$....

  • I don't have a carbon footprint....

  • I don't have a superiority complex......

  • I don't like people who work in the soup kitchen....

  • I don't like working as an elevator operator......

  • I don't really know why I lost my job at the keyboard factory....

  • I don't take my IT Analyst buddies hunting anymore....

  • I don't trust the press....

  • I don't want to be a taxidermist....

  • I don't worry about the future....

  • I donate 25 percent of my paycheck to......

  • I dropped a vacuum cleaner down a deep hole with water in it....

  • I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break....

  • I entered the deep underwater belt fastening competition......

  • I failed my paper on condensation....

  • I feel bad for plumbers who install those fancy water heaters that hang on the wall....

  • I filled my colander to let it soak....

  • I finally finished my degree in lumber management....

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