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  • The difference between a lazy person and a curious person can be just a single click....

  • The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun....

  • The doctor prescribed me orthopaedic shoes....

  • The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks....

  • The doctor told me I'd broken my arm in three places....

  • The drunk Russian captain sailed his ship off course....

  • The early bird gets the worm....

  • The Energizer Bunny got arrested...

  • The fattest knight of the round table was Sir Cumference....

  • The female janitor at work keeps asking me if I want to smoke a joint with her....

  • The finance company called to ask why I hadn't made a payment yet....

  • The first child is hard enough to raise......

  • The first ever "show off" dates back to......

  • The first man landed on Uranus....

  • The first person to design a reclining chair......

  • The first Richard......

  • The first rule of Alzheimers club,......

  • The first rule of fight club......

  • The first time I saw Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure....

  • The flu....

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