Today's featured daily humor:
The first time I saw Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure... ...was an incredible day that changed my life forever. I was fortunate enough to see the world premier, and even got to meet Ted "Theodore" Logan himself (Keanu Reeves!) at his press booth inside. When I actually watched the movie, I was inspired by all the great historical figures they met while time traveling. I thought how incredible it must be to meet such incredible people, many of which were sadly taken before their time. That's when I came up with a brilliant plan. I would build my own time machine, and rather then prevent their demise, I would transport them all back to my time. That way, they would be safe, and I could hang out with all of them just like Bill and Ted did. That was in 1989, and unfortunately it to me 25 years to actually invent time travel. But I did it, and the first thing I did was travel back in time to Ford's Theater. I got Abraham Lincoln and I sent him to my future in 2014, to the same theater where my inspired idea had first begun. I thought I had saved him... Unfortunately, they were premiering another Keanu Reeves movie at the time, and poor Abraham Lincoln stumbled into the theater and ran into John Wick's booth.