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Someone just stole my jumper cables....
Someone moonwalked into a bar....
Someone poisoned my lucky charms cereal....
Someone robbed a mafia-sponsored soccer game....
Someone sent me flowers will all the heads cut off....
Someone stole my DNA, made an unauthorized clone......
Someone stole my eggs from my fridge....
Someone stole my watch today!...
Someone stole the "P" from the pirate and now he's....
Someone stole the Sp from Jack Sparrow and now he can't....
Someone stole the wheels off of all the police cars....
Someone threw a tub of Omega 3 tablets at me....
Someone was at the front door......
Something funny about that vaccine I got in......
Son, "Daddy, I fell in love and want......
Son:...
Spent two hours last night being questioned about the murder of a local prostitute....
St....
Star Trek Fact:...
Starting a pop punk band who specialises in WW1 songs....
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