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  • I don't recommend using food coloring....

  • I don't trust sushi......

  • I don't understand my wife's kitchen organization......

  • I don't understand serial killers......

  • I don't want to say my girlfriend is young but I took her to Perkins and the waitress gave me a menu....

  • I don't want to talk about my yeast for Indian bread....

  • I doubt this will get much attention, due to the limited target audience, but it did make my wife groan....

  • I drank some food coloring yeaterday....

  • I dreamt last night that I weighed less......

  • I dropped a bag of flour at the grocery store....

  • I dropped my waffle at the beach....

  • I eat furniture....

  • I eat way too much noodles and I know they're bad for me....

  • I enjoyed a Bison steak at a restaurant today....

  • I entered a sausage contest and won....

  • I estimate that 95% of Reddit users pick their nose and eat it, 50% dont wash their hands after the bathroom, 12....

  • I fainted in the curry house when i heard REM had split up....

  • I feel bad for Greek vegans....

  • I feel like fake butter tastes better than real butter....

  • I feel like I achieved peak dad joke....

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