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  • I got so drunk last night that I......

  • I got the words Jacuzzi and Yakuza mixed......

  • I got upset when my secretary accidentally sent my letter to an anesthesiologist instead of to the anthropologist....

  • I had a dream that I weighed a thousandth of a gram....

  • I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram....

  • I had a girlfriend who was addicted to twitter....

  • I had an addiction to Michael Jackson's music......

  • I had an infection and went to the doctor....

  • I had to quit my job reading crystal balls....

  • I hate being a recovering kleptomaniac......

  • I hate being bipolar......

  • I hate trampolines....

  • I hate when the doctor uses a tongue......

  • I have a friend named South....

  • I have a friend who worships certain shades......

  • I have a friend whose nickname is Spam......

  • I have a problem with people coming out......

  • I have an addiction to brake fluid......

  • I have an addiction....

  • I have kleptomania....

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