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  • I have kleptomania....

  • I hear the house speaker has a 2-Step plan to avoid a government shutdown....

  • I heard Alec started production on Rust again....

  • I just accidentally took cat medicine....

  • I just finished a book about narcolepsy treatments....

  • I just picked up my lunch from China King and the whole kitchen staff was passing around a joint....

  • I keep getting these reminders from, Cologaurd to return my sample ....

  • I like my women the way I like......

  • I like pintos a lot....

  • I like to keep a webcam pointed at......

  • I may be old, but I feel like I'm going through my teenage years all over again....

  • I met a Criminal who is a Halfling......

  • I met her in the middle of my grocery shopping addiction era....

  • I mixed up my Rogain and Viagra....

  • I mixed up my Rogaine and Viagra......

  • I mixed up the word "jacuzzi" with "yakuza"....

  • I must confess I have difficulties doing maths......

  • I never knew my daughter had pipes until......

  • I once knew a duck who was a......

  • I once met a Jehovah's Witness who cooked meth in his spare time....

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