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  • - Do you know what annoys me?...

  • "Bolder" he said....

  • "Dad, did you spill paint on my new art canvas?...

  • "Hey, do you care if I punch myself in the face?...

  • "I just came across my wife's Tinder profile and I'm so angry about her lies....

  • "I'm not very good at explaining things," said my son....

  • "It's all coming back to me now" said the man with amnesia....

  • "Make one more ice pun and you're fired!...

  • "Mom, you are drawing your eyebrows too high....

  • "My mom is upset at me," said Henry....

  • "Siri, why am I still single?...

  • "Thanks putting up with me!...

  • "This is a very dense cake!...

  • "To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft...

  • "Waiter, this coffee tastes of mud!...

  • "Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock?...

  • "You look like a standup comedian!...

  • "Your underwear is much too tight and revealing," I said to my wife....

  • (May Be A Sensitive Topic To Some) Why are Americans bad at geometry?...

  • (NSFW) Hey Girl....

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