Today's featured daily humor:
So I walk into a bar alone... I asked the (seemingly) only bartender for a cosmo while like two dozen people were waiting for their drinks. To keep us waiting happily, he decided to do some tricks with the bottles. You know the usual stuff: 360 spins, balancing it off your finger (or your nose, holy shit he's a class act), or... ...okay, he dropped all of them, including the glasses. The only order he didn't fuck up was mine - the cosmo. To try to get everyone else's mercy (let's be real, there *wasn't*), he showed two bouquets of flowers. Whoopsie-daisies.