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My wife says I don't hold bacon properly so I can't cut it....
My Wife says i have two major faults....
My wife says I should do lunges to......
My wife says I should have been a plumber....
My wife says I tell "USPS" dad jokes....
My wife says I won't get 10 upvotes for this groaner I just told the kids....
My wife says I'm a sex machine....
My wife says I'm the biggest miser on......
My wife says I'm the most stubborn and strong willed person she's ever met....
My wife says if I don't stop using reddit, she will smash my head into the keyboard....
My wife says my new haircut looks a little funny....
My wife says my relentless barrage of unsolicited dad jokes amounts to battery....
My wife says my Yoda impressions are bad......
My wife says our vacuum cleaner sucks......
My wife says she is thinking of leaving me cause of my obsessions with things like Astronomy....
My wife says that I have been drinking......
My wife says the salad I make tends to be a bit on the "dry" side....
My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the "dry" side....
My wife says the salads I make tend......
My wife scorched her hand while removing beef cuts from the BBQ....
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