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  • I modified a board game to contact Robin......

  • I moved to Kansas but didn't see any pirates....

  • I mustard up the courage to make a dad joke on National Hot Dog Day....

  • I nailed this perfectly today....

  • I named my dog Axel....

  • I named my son Push, just so when he grows up and visits us to clear the driveway from snow, I can say to my wife:...

  • I need funny names for my new fish......

  • I need to go to the general store......

  • I never believed a chiropractor could improve my posture....

  • I never finish anything....

  • I never realized how popular the Flat Earth......

  • I never thought orthopedic shoes really would work for me....

  • I never trust an elevator......

  • I offered my neighbor $50 for a ride on her chair lift....

  • I once ate a watch....

  • I once fought off a home invader by toppling a glass book shelf onto him....

  • I once lived just a stone's throw away......

  • I once read a horror book in braille....

  • I once visited the Corn Palace in South......

  • I only blink......

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