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I must have done something to offend...
I must have dreamt I was a muffler last night ....
I must have used bad eggs in my omelette....
I named my son Science....
I never understood Antifa....
I peed all over the farmers market....
I play mushroom games with my kids....
I refer to Monday-Thursday as "Greg" and Friday-Sunday as "Ian"....
I saw a piece of toast at the zoo....
I saw two pieces of toast in a zoo the other day....
I spilled tea on my MacBook......
I squirted ketchup in my eyes the other day....
I think i might have Tuberculosis but I'm......
I think I'm allergic to certain types of nuts they make me sneeze....
I thought that mustard might stain my shirt....
I told her my name is Heath....
I told my kid a joke that had a kernel of truth in it....
I told my mate to go get us......
I told my wife that I had...
I took a tour of a defunct candy factory, but it smelled more like chocolate....
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