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My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout....
My penis was in the book of Guinness......
My penis was in the Guinness Book of......
My phone ran out of charge......
My political beliefs are like my penis....
My promiscuous gran said this about my violin playing when I was 7:...
My relationship with my girlfriend is not improving....
My son asked why he had to go to bed!...
My soon to be ex-wife told the divorce court judge that she caught me sleeping with twins....
My spelunking addicted friend tried to quit......
My Tinder date was so cheap....
My tinnitus support group invited a handbell choir to perform....
My whole family thinks I'm gay......
My wife and I had sex in Chernobyl......
My wife and I were trying to figure out the Yiddish word for butt and what 60 seconds equals....
My wife asked me if I could turn......
My wife calls me a sex machine....
My wife enjoys my chest and butt, but......
My wife found my inflatable sex doll under the bed....
My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding....
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