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  • My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout....

  • My penis was in the book of Guinness......

  • My penis was in the Guinness Book of......

  • My phone ran out of charge......

  • My political beliefs are like my penis....

  • My promiscuous gran said this about my violin playing when I was 7:...

  • My relationship with my girlfriend is not improving....

  • My son asked why he had to go to bed!...

  • My soon to be ex-wife told the divorce court judge that she caught me sleeping with twins....

  • My spelunking addicted friend tried to quit......

  • My Tinder date was so cheap....

  • My tinnitus support group invited a handbell choir to perform....

  • My whole family thinks I'm gay......

  • My wife and I had sex in Chernobyl......

  • My wife and I were trying to figure out the Yiddish word for butt and what 60 seconds equals....

  • My wife asked me if I could turn......

  • My wife calls me a sex machine....

  • My wife enjoys my chest and butt, but......

  • My wife found my inflatable sex doll under the bed....

  • My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding....

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