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  • I told this attractive woman that I thought she was beautiful and she called me a sexist....

  • I tried to flirt my way out of a ticket telling the officer that if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" together....

  • I tried to re-marry my ex-wife, but she figured out....

  • I tried to re-marry my ex-wife......

  • I tripped over my wife's bra in the bathroom....

  • I turned 85 earlier this year, and my driving skills are declining....

  • I used to be addicted to Masturbation but......

  • I used to be an amateur crastinator,......

  • I wanted to hire a prostitute but it......

  • I was arrested for flirting with a girl......

  • I was asked if I had any jokes about the sub....

  • I was at the pub last night & a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me....

  • I was born with 5 dicks....

  • I was getting tired of hooking up with this woman I met through a dating app for cannibals....

  • I was going to tell a joke about......

  • I was having sex with a 10/10 when suddenly a fire broke out....

  • I was in an unfortunate accident with an......

  • I was mad at my wife after...

  • I was supposed to meet a snowstorm today....

  • I was telling my friend that my rather chunky girlfriend had admitted to cheating on me with the NFL player Tyreek Hill....

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