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  • My Partner and I Named Our Roomba...

  • My pet bird was frantically tweeting so I gave him some food....

  • My pet elephant ate my orthopedic cushion......

  • My pet mouse "Elvis" died last night....

  • My pet parrot has passed away this morning from obesity....

  • My pet sloth didn't used to like moss......

  • My pet snail farts a lot....

  • My psychologist told me I lack a sense......

  • My sister cracked herself up with this one....

  • My sister likes taking care of chickens....

  • My son asked his dad how to tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile....

  • My son just texted me "Dad, I'm going to hive under a cow skin"....

  • My son said that his dinner was pretty......

  • My son was mad because a bird pooed on him....

  • My son:...

  • My son's first dad joke!...

  • My therapist says I'm overly occupied with vengence......

  • My throat closes up when I'm around rice......

  • My uncle is into animal husbandry....

  • My Uncle's a lion tamer, and when he went bankrupt they took nearly everything....

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