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  • I pirated a movie yersterday......

  • I pirated a video game yesterday......

  • I put all my spare cash into...

  • I really want to buy the new fashionable camoflauge jacket....

  • I received my paycheck in the mail, and the envelope was full of parsley....

  • I recently came into a bunch of money....

  • I recently came into a bunch of money....

  • I recently paid $1 for a wig....

  • I save a little bit of money from......

  • I saw a blind guy at the ATM who looked like he was struggling so I asked if I there was anything I could do....

  • I saw a coupon for a discount on a vasectomy....

  • I saw a fortune teller laughing so I punched her in the face....

  • I saw a store with a sign that read "Watch Batteries Installed - $5....

  • I saw an ad for a lawyer who......

  • I saw an ad for a radio for $1 but the volume was stuck on high....

  • I sell aquariums for a living and I frequently run out of inventory....

  • I sold my vacuum cleaner today......

  • I spent $1,000 on LED speakers that change color with the music....

  • I spent a small fortune on my circumcision......

  • I spent all my life savings on pasta....

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