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  • I got sick after I swallowed a hundred......

  • I grew up living paycheck to paycheck,......

  • I had a job circumcising elephants....

  • I had a successful yacht brokerage......

  • I had to replace my car windshield,......

  • I had to shut down my thriving lawn care business....

  • I had to sneak out of the podiatrist office....

  • I hate buying bread in French......

  • I hate MFers......

  • I hate using my discount card to get the ice off my wind shield....

  • I have 19k coins to giveaway......

  • I have an ancient Egyptian gold coin....

  • I have been bringing in a new revenue stream that requires very little work or time, just from selling a piece of kitchen equipment I get from my dad, dipped in semen....

  • I have created an app that allows you to rent a Zildjian for cheap....

  • I have donated some money to the Crow......

  • I have many jokes about rich kids......

  • I have so much debt....

  • I have started selling bed linen with...

  • I haven't seen my wife and kids for more than 2 years....

  • I heard Jimmy Buffet died because of some woman....

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