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  • I ran over my neighbors foot with a......

  • I really like driverless cars....

  • I recently retired......

  • I saw a blind guy at the ATM who looked like he was struggling so I asked if I there was anything I could do....

  • I saw a guy get hit by a......

  • I saw a magic tractor......

  • I saw an ad for a flashlight with strobe mode with randomized times between the flashes....

  • I saw an animated image of someone doing an oil change....

  • I smashed my son's computer to pieces with a hammer while he watched....

  • I sold my vacuum the other day....

  • I spilled tea on my MacBook......

  • I started a band called 999 megabytes......

  • I started a new band, we are called......

  • I stole my brother's motorbike's front wheel....

  • I studied clock making for a while....

  • I think my computer is broken....

  • I think my dog is a blacksmith......

  • I thought being an airline mechanic would be hard....

  • I thought I heard music coming from...

  • I told my wife I'd never buy her a wrist watch....

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