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  • I only know 23 letters of the alphabet....

  • I only know 25 letters in the alphabet....

  • I only liked the first two Harry Potter books....

  • I ordered one of those "meal kits" where they send you the ingredients and you cook the meal....

  • I partook in a revolutionary surgery wherein tiny pieces of Frito Lay were placed in my brain....

  • I passed school many years ago, but I only found about "Cervix" today....

  • I personally believe that masturbation is wrong......

  • I poked my friend with a scale......

  • I politely asked the surgeon if he minded......

  • I promised my daughter that she could always ask me for anything and I would never say no....

  • I put all my spare cash into...

  • I put on my atheist shoes this morning....

  • I ran to my father and asked him if he could describe a solar eclipse....

  • I recently attended a magic show in Mexico....

  • I recently decided to stop talking to my......

  • I rented a bulldozer and leveled out all the land in my front yard....

  • I returned my pack of 6 golf clubs......

  • I said to my wife, "my god woman can't you see how horny I am?...

  • I sat my son down for the drugs talk....

  • I saw a floating URL whilst walking in the park and when I clicked on it, the songs 'In the End' and 'Burn it Down' started playing....

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