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  • I asked my father if we'd ever have a housemaid....

  • I asked my son to move his pens, pencils, and notebook off the kitchen counter but he couldn't....

  • I asked my wife how to turn...

  • I asked my wife, why is there a busted condom on the couch?...

  • I bought a ceiling fan the other...

  • I bought a Dill house recently....

  • I bought a thesaurus in the bookshop the other day, I came home to find it empty....

  • I built a boudoir out of pine....

  • I came back from my hols with a new girlfriend....

  • I can't wait for this fall to travel to my other property in Singapore or Malaysia or Indonesia or somewhere around there....

  • I could walk through this screen door right now....

  • I couldn't catch the thief on the stairs......

  • I don't trust the stairs......

  • I don't want panels on my house anymore....

  • I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break....

  • I forgot to wash my bedspread with the rest of the laundry....

  • I found a police officer on my bed....

  • I gave my kids one last chance to stop playing their whistle in the house....

  • I got arrested yesterday for stealing a kitchen utensil....

  • I got fired from my job because I......

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