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I just put up an electric fence around my house....
I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble....
I knew I had a problem....
I know that there is a reason my......
i like to keep a ruler under my......
I like to work out by lifting up homes next to the ocean....
I live in such a sketchy neighborhood that we don't let our kids out the house after 7 p....
I married a keeper....
I mentioned to my wife that her lingerie is quite revealing....
I never tell dad jokes......
I never tell people I have a B....
I no longer worry about plumbing problems....
I organize houses for blonde women....
I really like my step ladder......
I recently found out my house is haunted by a ghost, but it's actually led to a lot of really fun adventures....
I saw lightning just strike the house across......
I started my diet by removing all the fattening food from the house....
I stopped my toddler from pulling vines off the house....
I think someone else has been sleeping in my bed, but it's tough to find evidence....
I think the government should provide a lot......
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