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  • My friend was really proud of his bonsai sycamore....

  • My grandfather owns a stallion called Mayo......

  • My kid put a banana peel on my head and I forgot to remove it before going out to work....

  • My kids eat so many apples......

  • My priest said I should ask god for the ability to liquify fruit....

  • My salad started to freak out....

  • My sister said "these oranges taste funny"......

  • My son asked me what I think about......

  • My son said I should buy groceries instead of a new iPhone....

  • My son was having trouble deciding which plate of crappy mashed taro to take....

  • My two orange-fleshed melons will never run away to get married....

  • My uncle died from a donut overdose copyright......

  • My wife asked why I'd hung bunches of grapes up to dry all round the house....

  • My wife is on a tropical fruit diet and our fridge is full of strange stuff....

  • My wife thought I was lying when I said I couldn't find the lid for the queso....

  • My wife used to go to this rich ladys house and individually hold the womans pears under the water faucet to clean them....

  • My wife writes anything she needs done around the house on slices of green melon....

  • New celebrity pickle brand....

  • Not everyone thinks cleopatra is beautiful......

  • Outside Ancient Rome, there was a village that had fallen on hard times....

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