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  • I ordered liver and onions from doordash and only got onions....

  • I ordered one of those "meal kits" where they send you the ingredients and you cook the meal....

  • I ordered some chicken breasts and a 12 pack of eggs on Amazon....

  • I ordered some ribs from a restaurant and......

  • I ordered....

  • I out went to dinner with a friend......

  • I own a bakery where all of my cakes are 99p....

  • I partook in a revolutionary surgery wherein tiny pieces of Frito Lay were placed in my brain....

  • I pay my rent, food and other expenses......

  • I peed all over the farmers market....

  • I prefer to eat my pancakes raw......

  • I prefer to fly to Taiwan whenever I feel like snacking....

  • I prepared my wife a roast beef dinner but she complained it was raw and needed to be roasted longer....

  • I put mustard on my dachshund when...

  • I quit my job at a bakery on the 91st floor of a skyscraper....

  • I quit my job at the Grocery Store's Produce Department....

  • I read about this slimming bread that helps you lose weight....

  • I read in the Bible about Jesus feeding 5000 people with just a few fish....

  • I really needed to talk......

  • I really regret pouring baked beans into my......

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