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  • Me and a friend got arrested , I stole batteries and he took fireworks....

  • My boss said he was going to fire the employee with the worst posture....

  • my buddy's bakery burned down last night......

  • My child burned all my old 1970s...

  • My daughter burned me......

  • My friend got fired today from septic tank cleaning....

  • My friend Kart got fired at his job......

  • My granddad's last words to me were "fight fire with fire....

  • My grandma always used to say "slow and steady wins the race....

  • My gym manager just got fired recently......

  • My house is currently on fire and the......

  • My office was evacuated after we heard Boogie Wonderland on the radio....

  • My oldest boy insulted me while we were......

  • My son asked me if we were pyromaniacs....

  • My son called me yesterday and said he couldn't go back to work after what his boss said to him....

  • My son got fired from his editor job......

  • My son insisted that there was a holiday song for the Russian special forces....

  • My son started a fire and came to my and said:...

  • My spouse keeps setting their farts on fire and I think it may be over between us....

  • My therapist told me to write letters to people I hate and burn them....

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