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I was happy to raise my kid on my own, until his mother, my ex-wife burned our house down....
I was having sex with a 10/10 when suddenly a fire broke out....
I was just drilling some holes into hardwood,......
I was shot and wounded by a Priest the other day....
I was telling some of my best dad jokes around the campfire but I got nothing but crickets....
I was texting with the guy who invented autocorrect....
I'd like to meet a firefighter....
I'm outsourced and my supervisor told me he would hire me!...
I've been trying to set a record for the quickest time to read the entire dictionary....
I've just witnessed an accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine....
If a lama with one L is a holy man, and a llama with two Ls is an animal, what is a three L lama?...
If you're ever stuck on an island make......
It sure was a shock when a fire......
It's really easy to do a flamingo impression......
July 4th......
Just got fired from my job as a set designer....
Just learnt that in the past, people used nails stuck to candles as a way to wake them up from sleep....
Just saw a report on CNN interviewing Billy Joel about the fires in Canada affecting his Manhattan apartment....
Last night I dreamt my hair was on fire, and I was being sucked down into a hole....
Last night there was a fire in the road-side internet cabinet....
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